progress---or the lack there of.

Chris is getting thinner, toner and hotter. He lost another 1.5 inches from his waist and will soon be in a new pant size.
I'm feeling much like the picture above.
He is eating right.
I am stress eating, when I'm eating.
My trainer has been crazy busy and we've been unable to get together at all. Our last 2 hikes were stormed out. And, life has been so nuts the last week 1/2 that our family walks haven't happened. So, there you have it. Gross me. Hot Chris. Life...you suck!

truth time

148.2. I hate you .I despise you. I cannot ESCAPE you. Sure, I still see 146 and 145...but somehow, I always make it back to YOU. Today, I'm telling myself that it's my new and improved calf muscles building up that brings us together once again, and that in a matter of weeks, you will be a number from my past. That, unless I should go insane and choose to get pregnant again, I will never see you again. I don't care if it takes me until November to get down to 135, I'm going to get there. And, even if it takes that long, I can still say proudly that I lost 50 pounds in a year. No shame in taking a year to shed it. Who cares if the last 10 pounds took the longest to loose. THEY'LL BE GONE!

My brother sent me a link to a hilarous blog. It's called, the public humliation diet. It's riddled with the f word, as a caution http://deadspin.com/5545674/the-public-humiliation-diet-a-how+to. It has a LOT of truth to it. How posting your weight online, and weighing yourself constantly FORCES reality on that denial that says "Oh, I'm 185 today because of the weight of the jeans....or water retention." Yeah, 50 pounds of water weight is pretty unlikely.

Our hike Wednesday kicked my butt. I mean, this is week 4? I think. I'm supposed to be getting stronger, and better. I feel stronger. But something about that hike or the day, was off. I was a good 1/2-3/4 mile behind the people I'm usually leading. Chris kept having to wait for me, and he was carrying 21lb Simon on his back. My sister, KK, who you could argue is over weight, was keeping up with him, and I was barley out pacing the hikers that were nearing 300 lbs. Thankfully, a massive storm hit. I've never seen lightning so close in my life. We ran down the mountain. That's when I knew I was stronger, because I could RUN down the mountain and be fine. For a good mile I ran my guts out. I would stop to see if my sister was safe with the other hikers. She has bad ankles and knees, so running down a steep and narrow rocky trail would be been insane for her. Chris still beat me to the car by a good 15 minutes. I could (and am) feel pathetic about this. But really, that isn't going to do any good. So, instead, I will keep up our family walks, swear off my recent sugar overdosing, and try to remain positive.

They say it's good to have a mental picture of what your end goal is. This is my sister Seana. I'm not sure how old she is here....probably my current age, because it's a few years back. She is now 32, and STILL this amazing. I wouldn't sport a bikini, because no amount of nutrition and crunches is going to rid me of my 'owies' as Ava calls them, aka fire belly, aka STRETCH MARKS.

my smokin hot hubby

Here are some pictures I took of chris a couple of weeks ago on his big 29th!!! I love him so much. He's making SO much progress and I'm so proud of him!

mile by mile

So, note to self. Do not purchase snickers ice cream with the lie that you will ration it to last a long time. The truth, dear self, is that you will consume half of it in one day, and be in misery for a few days following. And, you will gain insane weight and have issues with yourself when you look in the mirror. end note.

The forecast for Wednesday is 87 degrees. This means a few things. 1. Must acquire adequate hiking beverage container. I don't really have the money to buy a camel-pak or whatever it's called, so if you'd like to lend me one...that would rock hardcore! Chris and I also need to start shopping around for real hiking boots. Especially him, since he's carrying Simon for these hikes. He needs good sturdy shoes. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with $95 for shoes.

I hope it storms tonight. I love thunder storms at night. So my goal for this month is to get down below 145. I have bootcamp on Tuesdays, hiking on Wed and Chris and I have consistantly been doing at least 1 mile a day with the kids. 1 mile isn't anything impressive, I realize this, but sometimes...it's all I have in me. It's better than nothing. We are going to buy a weight bench and weights from Clint. He's making space for the new baby I guess, and offered all his weight equip. for $70. Chris is really wanting to start working his upper body, so here's to that! Dear garage, welcome to becoming our new workout space. If anyone wants to help me think of a fun *cheap to free* way of decorating it so it's not so---garage? let me know! PROJECTS! <3

Well, here's to a new week. Hopes--that I lay off the CRAP. I've been stressed lately, and eating my way through that stress. I turn to sugar and salt for stress relief, and while it does a great job, it's extremely the wrong way to deal with things. Next week I get a sitter twice a week, so that I can go to the office. I am 100% certain, that this will bring me some peace. I need a change-let's hope this change is effective.

3.6 miles!!!

Last night our hike was the first part of the Wheeler trail in Ogden. I did not take my camera, and let me tell you that I am quite remiss about that. The views were INCREDIBLE. We hiked 1.8 miles in and then 1.8 back out. They are doing the 2nd part of it tonight, but I'll be at Ash's party, so I'll have to do it at another time.
This hike was slightly more challenging. It was .6 miles farther than our last, and the entire hike in was incline. My thighs are still tight from my Saturday run, and bootcamp on Tuesday morning. By mile 2, my legs had loosened a bit, but this morning they are right back to being sore and not stretchy at all.
Mad props to Chris who carried Simon the whole time. It was about 70 degrees, and sunny, but the trail kept us shaded. It's time to start applying mosquito spray though. We about got eaten ALIVE. Simon stayed awake for 3 miles of the hike this time. We had to stop at the 1.8 area to wait for part of the hiking group. Simon was able to get out and walk around for 10 minutes and really loved that.