biggest loser

When I was pregnant with Ava, I LOVED the Biggest Loser. The next few seasons were more drama than inspiring so I stopped tuning in. This season, however, is so amazing. Last week's episode, a 51 year old mom went home. Her 'reveal' of being home, she's down to 138 pounds. She started over 200 pounds. If she can do it...so can I. I've been so discouraged. I've spent a whole month at this stupid 145-147 mark, but I can't give up. I know that I haven't given myself the workout time that I needed, so really I should be proud that I've been able to maintain a weight all month with like 4 workouts for the whole month. Maintaining a weight is as much of the battle as losing it. I mean, what's the point of losing 50 pounds, if in 3 months, I'm packing it back on? I need to get my butt in gear over to the store and get myself some weights and roll out that rug in the garage and MAKE.IT.HAPPEN. Do I want to be successful? Do I want to love my body? When I love my body and I know that I'm making progress, I'm happier. I am more loving and affectionate with my family. Lately, I'm not feeling that proud of myself, and it's really showing in my relationship with Chris. I want to know that he's complimenting me, not because he's my husband and should love me no matter how heavy I am, but because I really am looking good. I want to be amazing for myself and for him. I want to be amazing for my kids. The better job I do at taking time to find quiet moments to check in with my Father in Heaven, and taking 30 minutes to an hour sweating out my frustrations, the happier and more functional a mother I will be. This is what it's all about. Not just some numbers on a scale, but a happier, saner me. The cuter reflection is a bonus, not the goal. It's good to take time to remember that.