Operation: Get my butt back...into shape

You see, I didn't plan on getting pregnant in May 2011. I defiantly didn't plan on getting pregnant with TWINS. But, alas, the test said PREGNANT and the ultrasound said TWINS. I had spent the previous 6 months getting up at 6 am to work out, and then doing 30 day shred at night...and logging my food intake to have some sort of "accountability." I didn't lose a dang pound once I hit 155. Thus, this blog became lost in the dust of forgotten blogs. Yes, I may not have been able to ever hit that "145" goal I've had for the last DECADE, but I am fairly positive all my hard work was not in vain. I started my pregnancy at 158 and ended about 188. Not bad for twins 37 weeks 3 days right? I am now 6 weeks post birth, and the babies are doing great! Between logging miles to the NICU and pumping out gallons of milk, I dropped those 30 pounds in the first 3 weeks. I am weighing in about 160-162, depending on how full my milk supply is at the time. However, I am suffering from lose skin and the milk supply is dropping, which means that it's time to start toning, and working out, before I start expanding again.

Current plan-30 day shred. I got new 8 pound weights for Christmas. I asked for 5s but they were all sold out. So, we'll see if i can jump right in at 8. I hope to update this weekly with numbers. But we'll see how that goes ;) I'd like to say that I'd do this workout everyday-but let's get real. I have 4 kids. 2 infants. a 2 year old. and a 5 year old. WHY AM I EVEN THINKING ABOUT WORKING OUT?!?! Because I need to not lose myself. I need to take care of me, and a healthy mom is a happy(ier) mom. So wish me luck, cheer me on, and save me a truffle or two. Nothing finishes off a great burn like a Mrs. Cavanaughs mindy mint!

self medicating with Carbs

I have gained 6 pounds since my miscarriage last Friday (19th.) Six. I hadn't gained any weight in the first 3 months of my pregnancy...actually due to morning sickness, I was down a few pounds, but it seems that my mind, body or something is coping with the loss of my baby with carbs. I feel like a robot. I just shove food into my mouth, serving after serving, without even thinking. I don't get a 'full feeling' ever, so I just keep eating. Now, it's true that I was nauseated for the majority of my 12 weeks of pregnancy, so maybe it's just that I have an appetite back, so somewhere I am embracing that. But the longer this continues, and the more I'm coming to realize what I'm doing to myself...the more sick I get about it.

I need to hold myself accountable. Just because I lost my baby, doesn't mean I should let myself get lost as well. Right now, it's not about a fear of being fat. It's about a fear of being unhealthy and thus making my family unhealthy. I need a new plan. I need to start writing things down again. Establish a pattern to reboot my habits. So, welcome back to the blog that started it all 12 months ago.

Starting Weight 147. I have to get my hands on a measuring tape to post measurements.

plateau broken?

plateau broken?

I don't want to get my hopes TOO high, but I think I may have FINALLY broken the 145 streak. I've been stuck at 145-148 for MONTHS AND MONTHS. Like 3-4 months. This past weekend I weighed in at 144 for the first time since like February. I was at 142 in the winter, put on 5 pounds in the spring and could not get rid of them.

I start bootcamp again in a month or so. Now that the air isn't 90 degrees at 6am. This should help me lose these last 10 pounds. 135 is my ultimate goal. I've given myself until November to get there. It will make 1 year to lose the 50 pounds.

My desire to to stay below 140 for a year before Chris and I start trying for a 3rd. I know. I know. I say every day 100 times a day that I'm done, but we all know there's a 3rd baby. I just can't think about even having that baby until we are a year closer to Chris graduating, and it would be nice if by the time she comes, that Simon is in preschool and Ava is in 1st grade, so that I actually have time for the babe. So, there. Happy? I said it. There's a 3rd. There's a plan for the 3rd to come. I just need to be healthier. Happier. And far LESS busy.

holding steady

There haven't been many posts here, because there is nothing to really report. By 9am, by house is at 80 degrees every day so, exercise isn't really happening. Our hike group is over. Pretty much, water, crystal light, ice, popscicles....and salad is all I ever want. (with the occassional cookout mmmmmmmm bilary cookouts are AWESOME)

We had a swim day Tuesday, and our neighbors grilled some great bugers and dogs that Chris had gotten. mmm mmm mmm. Watermelon, freshbaked cookies, and juicy pepperjack cheeseburgers. So amazing. I am fairly positive I ate 1/2 the melon myself.

I'm down to 145 consistently. Chris is at 225. We're both holding steady. Netty says we can pick up our training soon, but honestly, in this weather, yuck. How about September? Right now, I sweat buckets just doing laundry, or pushing my kids on the swing. I think Mr. Golden Sun and the ol swimming pool is a great combo for these hot months...I'll get back to weights and squats when the temps go back below 80.

progress---or the lack there of.

Chris is getting thinner, toner and hotter. He lost another 1.5 inches from his waist and will soon be in a new pant size.
I'm feeling much like the picture above.
He is eating right.
I am stress eating, when I'm eating.
My trainer has been crazy busy and we've been unable to get together at all. Our last 2 hikes were stormed out. And, life has been so nuts the last week 1/2 that our family walks haven't happened. So, there you have it. Gross me. Hot Chris. Life...you suck!

truth time

148.2. I hate you .I despise you. I cannot ESCAPE you. Sure, I still see 146 and 145...but somehow, I always make it back to YOU. Today, I'm telling myself that it's my new and improved calf muscles building up that brings us together once again, and that in a matter of weeks, you will be a number from my past. That, unless I should go insane and choose to get pregnant again, I will never see you again. I don't care if it takes me until November to get down to 135, I'm going to get there. And, even if it takes that long, I can still say proudly that I lost 50 pounds in a year. No shame in taking a year to shed it. Who cares if the last 10 pounds took the longest to loose. THEY'LL BE GONE!

My brother sent me a link to a hilarous blog. It's called, the public humliation diet. It's riddled with the f word, as a caution http://deadspin.com/5545674/the-public-humiliation-diet-a-how+to. It has a LOT of truth to it. How posting your weight online, and weighing yourself constantly FORCES reality on that denial that says "Oh, I'm 185 today because of the weight of the jeans....or water retention." Yeah, 50 pounds of water weight is pretty unlikely.

Our hike Wednesday kicked my butt. I mean, this is week 4? I think. I'm supposed to be getting stronger, and better. I feel stronger. But something about that hike or the day, was off. I was a good 1/2-3/4 mile behind the people I'm usually leading. Chris kept having to wait for me, and he was carrying 21lb Simon on his back. My sister, KK, who you could argue is over weight, was keeping up with him, and I was barley out pacing the hikers that were nearing 300 lbs. Thankfully, a massive storm hit. I've never seen lightning so close in my life. We ran down the mountain. That's when I knew I was stronger, because I could RUN down the mountain and be fine. For a good mile I ran my guts out. I would stop to see if my sister was safe with the other hikers. She has bad ankles and knees, so running down a steep and narrow rocky trail would be been insane for her. Chris still beat me to the car by a good 15 minutes. I could (and am) feel pathetic about this. But really, that isn't going to do any good. So, instead, I will keep up our family walks, swear off my recent sugar overdosing, and try to remain positive.

They say it's good to have a mental picture of what your end goal is. This is my sister Seana. I'm not sure how old she is here....probably my current age, because it's a few years back. She is now 32, and STILL this amazing. I wouldn't sport a bikini, because no amount of nutrition and crunches is going to rid me of my 'owies' as Ava calls them, aka fire belly, aka STRETCH MARKS.

my smokin hot hubby

Here are some pictures I took of chris a couple of weeks ago on his big 29th!!! I love him so much. He's making SO much progress and I'm so proud of him!